His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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