yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
