I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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