one might say we're banned from that church
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
