the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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