when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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