dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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