Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
