Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.