i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.