I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November