I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.