ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I don't deserve a penis
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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