You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
