another moral hangover. fuck.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
