69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
