Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
