So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
What happened to fro yo and sex?
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