i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We are two peas in an std pod
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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