She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
