Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
