His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
