you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
