i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The air was thick with penises
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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