sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
