Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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