So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
