Can Purell be used as lube?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
