What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
