Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
