you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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