Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
