he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
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it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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