we should wear snuggies to the strip club
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
