I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
