That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
