They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
