My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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