just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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