I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
