We're facebook friends in real life
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i was born a porn star she said
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
