Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
