I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
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