I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
