bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
