the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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