Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize