All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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