i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
