There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
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ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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