maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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