She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
