I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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