i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
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the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
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I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I would ride that face into the sunset
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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