Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
soo... how was my night?
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