it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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