Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
