Kiss
Puke
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
