Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
