I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
