His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
