Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
