she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just found a bag of teeth...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
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