I am puke
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize