it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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