and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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