"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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